Nissan Street Art Video

This is a video I made for the AAF Nissan pitch in NYC. Matt Ryan and I worked really hard on this piece and I'm pretty stoked on the result. Literally stayed up for three days straight painting and editing. It was actually a pretty fun experience. Hope you like it. 

Some Old Black & Whites.

I decided to post some old photos from the good old days. I've also decided to buy (or possibly steal) a new camera, so I can go back to documenting the more ridiculous moments of our lives. Also don't forget to check out my new blog "Oh No Neilio". Go there.

Patrick and Hoyos.

Shaving Patrick's head.

Frankenstein.

The smuggled Absinth.

Weird night.

Bryce.

Adam.

Young Dillon's backyard.

The Gang at Michael's shore house.

Garret or Ian. I can't tell.

Me and Patrick. 40s Tuesdays.

Typical Lioy.

Yay New Blog.

I created a new blog for my social media class and my own shameless self promotion. So, you should check it out, follow me, promote me, stalk me, whatever. I promise I will continue to update dumbassia regularly and to show you I am being sincere, I will now post all the blog names that the dumbassia crew, other acquaintances and myself suggested for my new blog. One of these individuals may have been under the influence of something. If you guess who that individual is...you win.

Disruptive Creation, Maniacal Radness, Cornholios Way, Creative Grime, Right-Brain Sickness, Blah,  Bruises X Brushes, Shock Value Aesthetic, wasteoftime, Negative Progress, GrizzlyAdamsBeard, Zombie Goop, Pizzaria Dreams, Sidekicks Kickin It, Escalator Kids, Big Spoon and Bannas, FUNdecided, Get Derivative, BunchaSavages, Tight Spaces Loose Laces, Punchin Pavement, Street Dreaming Ideas Streaming, Empty Ideas Wallets Loaded, Jersey Rotten, Pennys For Thoughts, Quiet In The Streets, Break the Mold, Staying Gold and Growing Old, The Street Is It's Byproduct, Grind Em Up, Spray Day, Blog Slug, I Like It When You Neil, Jerken Durkin, O the Cruelmanity, Esistantial Angst, A Day Late and a Chromosome Short, Its Hard to Rent a Room when You tends Toward Frenzy, Unfollow the Yellow Brick Road, A Bad Arsonist is Easy to Find,  Rest Assured thats How They Spot You, After Its On Fire Then You Set It a Adrift AFTER, If Spiders Were Insane You Would Spend More Time In Terror, I am My Own Activity, The Lithium is the Jello Just a Heads Up...

There were more.

Decided to go with "Oh No Neilio", but if I decide I'm not feeling it I can always go back to this clusterfuck of a list. Here's the link, go there.

www.OhNoNeilio.blogspot.com

Counting Down.

Pat Hart makes his epic return this Saturday around noon. 

Stoked

COUNTDOWN CLOCK

Funny Gift Story

So before I start this post, let me just state that I love my mother very much and she has always been there to support me in "most" of my endeavors. That being said, she has some qualities that are less than perfect. See my mother is a special kind of person that the marketing world refers to as a “variety shopper”. This means that if she sees anything that is on sale and has some sort of use for it, she will buy it. For many, this is a great way of saving money and I’m not putting down people who seek out bargains. I’ll give you an example of what I’m trying to describe and why this can be pretty fucked up/ funny. The other day, my mom made a very unique purchase for me. Now, I usually don’t get many random gifts from my mother, but when I do they are always in good taste and fun. The gift below was not in good taste at least.

 (Yep)

That is supposed to be a sled…yes… a sled. My mother presented it to me the night prior to my departure back to school. In reality it was a very thoughtful gift, considering my university is in an environment equivalent to the arctic tundra and people do often do things involving sleds. So, I guess it's the thought that counts. The only thing that I find funny, yet unnerving, is the suggestive shape of this children’s play toy. I mean seriously. It looks like a dick. The way it works is even weirder. You the sled rider, place your buttocks in a plastic-testicle-shaped seat pad. Then you grab the head (frightening shaped steering mechanism) and pull the shaft between your legs. I don’t even believe that this thing can even work unless you were descending the steepest hill in history.

(snow seat in action)

So when my mother asked, “how I liked it?”, I smiled and said thank you. I didn’t want to make her feel bad about buying me something. She also would have probably been very offended by my suggestion of anything phallic about a children’s toy, even though it seriously looks like a dick. She then explained that she saw that it was on sale for eight dollars and that she knew I would have a good time using it (The negatives of bargain shopping exposed). I told her that I would definitely use it when I got back to school, and then quickly grabbed the dick sled as I went to my room. As I walked, I began to think about this unusual gesture. I’m inclined to believe that my mother made an innocent purchase with the full intention of me having a great outdoor recreational experience. For if not, my mom is a maniacal comedic genius that realized I would be too nice to point out her poor shopping decision and wishes for me to have a homoerotic moment of embarrassment as I travel at high speed down the steepest hill of ice imaginable! Either way, it’s funny and/or adorable. It also provided me with a good post. Thanks mom.

Definitely gonna make a video of the snow seat in action.        

More Photoshop Boredom

I was messing around on photoshop for a bit when I made the decision to make one of my friend's greatest dreams come true. So congratulations Michael, I have made you a wizard. Enjoy. 

(I made sure you had a sweet neck beard)

Messing around with photoshop.
Also just realized I spelt "choices" wrong, but whatever.
It makes it ironic or something.

Suits.

Me and Kiernan being cool at Maggie's wedding.

Dumb Movies: Shark Movies are getting Ridiculous.

Let me start off by saying the original Jaws was an excellent film and was probably on one of the greatest accomplishments of Stephen Spielfuck's career. That being said....What the fuck happened? Its like this genre of movies is competing to become the worst of all time. I know what your thinking. Yes, I do enjoy some of the shittiest movies ever made, but this has become preposterous. I'm not talking about Jaws 3D, Deep Blue Sea, or Shark Attack. Hell, I'm not even talking about Shark Attack 3:Megalodon (Scene with the guy escaping on a jet ski is hilarious). I'm talking about the lowest budgeted, worst written, poorest acted, suckiest movies ever. Lets begin.

Sharktopus


I put this movie first because its soooo bad, but its bad in a way that I kinda like. It has certain aspects that makes it worse than most movies, yet better than most shark movies. First, Its not about a shark... its about a half shark... a half shark that has its own theme song... and was created by Eric Roberts. The rest of the movie irrelevant. Moving on.

Super Shark



Was that Tracy Morgan? Why is he in this? Better question. Is the walking tank necessary? Probably not. The only explanation is that somebody really wanted to put that poorly animated walking tank in a movie, but they just couldn't build a plot around it... until they found a script about a walking shark. Yeah, Fuck You Movie People. Now, the next movie is where shit starts getting weird.

Sand Sharks


This is the movie that inspired me to write this article. I mean come on. Sharks are scary enough without being mutated into something that has already tried killing Kevin Bacon (Tremors). Another thing about normal, everyday sharks is that their fucking real and can tear you to pieces. They don't need to be gigantic, prehistoric, sand-dwelling, hybrid, psychotic monsters that seek revenge, they can already rip you to pieces at normal size. O well, at least it can't get more ridiculous from this point...  


Ghost Shark 2: Urban Jaws



SERRIOUSSLLLY! There isn't even a Ghost Shark 1! I checked.

Happy New Yearz

Around this time of year, we here at Dumbassia like to celebrate the birth and accomplishments of one of our dearest friends, whose birthday also happens to fall on New Years Eve (to his disliking). More specifically we celebrate the day this man saved us all from an unspeakable wrath that few can possibly understand. We are thankful everyday for Henderson Cole V's noble act that vanquished the drunkest of creatures. So let us once again look upon the video that commemorates this deed.

P.S.
Thank you Mikey for taking us to Scranton this weekend. It was a very fun/shameful time and I appreciate your NYE hospitality... even though for some reason you refuse to believe that.

We can make it if we run! 

Slap Jack in a Hat.

A Message From Henderson Cole About His Radio Show: The ALTERNATIVE.

The ALTERNATIVE is evolving!!!

Hey people! Hope you are having a good summer. I have some news about The Alternative's future. The show has been great so far, and I have loved every single minute of it BUT I personally think it can be better. MUCH BETTER. so this year I am totally renovating the show. Same great music. Same funny comments and clips. but now with live interviews from your favorite bands, new ways for you to listen, better ways to get YOUR favorite bands on the show, and to talk with me while I'm on air. I want to make this show as fun for you as it is for me. That's high standard but I have hope, and you know what they say about hope... it floats ships or something. So maybe it'll make a radio show the best ever. it seems versatile.

The renovation has begun. I'm excited to introduce the new twitter for the show @UDAlternative follow it!!! I'll update you with music news, news about upcoming shows, and whatever else i can think of! its also going to be a great way to get your requests in fast.

Next Up is a new and improved facebook page for the show, because facebook has decided to close down all old groups and start a new format. And I have decided I want a new look for the page. should be up soon.

More updates to come... stay awesome and keep listening to great music.
PEACE

- Hendo

Shitty Horror Movie of the Day: Killer Klowns From Outer Space

I had seen this movie before, but I had forgotten its awfullness until me and Henderson decided to watch it last night. It has literally taken me 24 hours and half a bottle of Jack Daniels to fully comprehend (again) how dumb this movie is. It's really not even entertaining as a joke. Here are the absolute movie fails that have been scorched into my brain:

1. No explanation of what the hell this movie is about. Are all clowns evil? Are they really a race of monsters that kill humans with bad party tricks? Is the cotton candy acidic? Do real clowns explode when you shoot them in the nose? Guess we'll never know.
2. The main characters in this movie are so stupid, you actually want them to die.
3. No nude scenes. Even the worst of 80s horror flicks have some sort of female exposure that makes thirteen year old boys sit through these awful ordeals. This would have been the only thing that made this movie enjoyable and they fucked up that too.
4. More unanswered questions. Why did that cop hate college kids (who all looked like they were in their mid 30s) so much? Also what the hell was in that ice cream truck that exploded? Jugs of napalm?
5. No sex scenes. There is some suggestion of sex at one point in the movie when the two main characters are hooking up (in an inflated raft in the trunk of a car). This is of course interrupted by a flying circus tent that just had to be investigated. The only other sexual innuendo in the movie is the two guys who drove the ice cream truck may have been violently raped by two clown chicks with inflatable boobs. It's never really revisited in the movie.
6. At the end of the movie, the day is saved when the super retard gorilla clown is shot in the nose and the whole space ship blows up. Really inefficient engineering on the clowns' part. Then everyone is happy and celebrating, despite the fact that everybody in the town except for three people are dead.

To conclude, the only thing (according to H.C.) that makes this movie better than Hobgoblins, is that there was no five minute long rake fight scene. This movie will make you hate clowns more than you already probably do.

Things That Have Happened Over The Last Couple Of Weeks.

I haven't really been updating this blog recently due to my day job, broken camera, and overall failure to keep organized. But nevertheless good/weird stuff has happened over the last couple of weeks and as oppose to writing a detailed story about each occurrence, I'm just gonna make a list. So here it is.

1. Saw the world's worst disguised tranny outside of 7/11 at 9 a.m on a Tuesday.
2. Went to Six Flags with H.C.(Bill and Ted style) and went on every roller coaster. 3. We also discovered that the new Bizzaro World coaster is just the old Medusa coaster painted blue. (Which is also the same roller coaster that Robbie K threw up on seven years ago)
4. Started using the phrase "TGIF" again.
5. I made disco fries the most common factor of my weekly diet.
6. Discovered Monster Mug Night at Cleveland's on Wednesdays.
7. H.C. was prescribed (by his doctor) to go tanning and take steroids for his skin and became even more jersey.
8. Went to ex's birthday party, got decently intoxicated, and passed out in my car in front of her house. The next morning I was woken up by the cops.
9. Started watching MST3K again, which is probably my new favorite show now that Game of Thrones is done.
10. Went to the Zumiez Couch Tour thing behind the Livingston Mall, where the lead singer of I See Stars stated that "I see some people in the front here having fun but I see alot of other people in the back just standing there, and thats cool too."
11. Found out that Dr. Pepper + Whip Cream Burnett's = a fine tasting beverage.

Crap Horror Movie of the Day

I didn't even watch this yet, and part of me feels I really don't have to.

Old School H.A.M.N. Shot.

Courtesy of H.C.