Crap Horror Movie of the Day

Sleep Away Camp

This movie.......has like everything in it. Sex, drugs, pedophile chefs, death by curling irons, trannies, killer bees........just watch it.
I especially liked this scene for the awkwardly long scream at the end of it.

Bad Horror Movie Of The Day

Movie: Phantasm
Villain: The Tall Man
Best Parts In This Movie: 1. Your having sex with a hot chick then BAM she turns into the tall man, and just to add insult to injury he kills you. 2. He turns your friends into a chain gang of slave dwarves. 3. BOYYYYYY!

The guys from Jackass have been my own personal inspiration for a while now. (Probably the biggest reason Dumbassia came to be). They are now coming out with their third feature length film in 3D, which I'm reminding everyone comes out this friday. I was on VBS.TV this morning and they posted a video on the making of Jackass 3D. It got me really stoked to go see it. Heres the video.

Naked Lap Fail

On Sunday night, we were playing beer pong and my team ended up getting shut out (my partner knocked over 3 cups with his shoulder). This resulted in both of us having to do a naked lap around the house. I was pretty fucked up at this point, and I could barely get my own clothes off. It was also really cold outside, so I ran as fast as I could to the back of the house. This is the basic equation. Beer+Nudity+Running - Coordination+ Concrete Back Porch= An Embarrassing Bloody Ass Cheek. When I got back inside, I was bleeding everywhere. It also didn't help that inside, there was a kid on shrooms, who kept trying to send me to the hospital. He was afraid I was going to bleed to death in my sleep. There was also no rubbing alcohol or anything to disinfect the cut, so I had to use mouth wash. I let the shrooms kid do a haggard tape job on my wound, so that it would ease his worried mind. At least I got a cool looking scar out of it.

Dumb Horror Movie Of The Day.

I'm making a list of all the really stupid horror movies I have ever seen for the month of October. Trust me when I say I have seen many.
I pulled this trailer off Vice. I don't know what they put in the water over in Japan, but it must fuck people up if they allow a movie like this to be made. I do not recommend anybody try to actually see this film. I know I won't. The working english title of this movie is Big Tits Zombie 3D....

Countdown To The Best Holiday Of The Year Begins.

And so begins the marathons of badly written horror movies, girls in slutty costumes, toilet paper, and candy corn...

(Michael, how did you get into Michael's house?)

Summers is Over.

Summer is done. Some of us are happy to see it gone. The rest of us are already depressed from the impending shitty weather. Here are some photos to help us remember the good times of Summer 10'.

Jim Beam, Metal, and Possible Neo-Nazis...

Back in August, Michael and I went to go see the Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament show at the Izod arena. He won tickets off a radio give-away and was kind enough to bring me along. I had never gone to a show with just metal bands playing before so this was a new a experience for me. So Michael picks me up and we grab a bottle of whiskey (the most metal of liquors) and go to tailgate the show in the arena's parking garage. We drank a significant amount of our bottle and some pbrs, as we enjoyed the rest of the metal community getting amped up before the show. These people go nuts before these concerts, especially when metal gods like Slayer and Megadeth are playing. The crowd was mostly old school metal heads, but there were parents who brought some youngsters to rage. Michael at one point spilt booze all over the front seat of the car, and so in a attempt to make the car smell less like whiskey, pours soda on it. This surprisingly worked.

So we made our tipsy way over to the arena, and we came across a guy trying to sell us satellite radio packages. We walked away with a pamphlet and sweet guitar shaped key chains/bottle openers. When we got inside there were not that many people sitting down, so we decided to get to know who was sitting around us. There were two guys sitting to our left. The one dude was very quiet and didn't say much to us throughout the show. The other gentleman was quite large and he would not remain quiet during the show. He was the biggest Slayer fan I had ever met. He kept showing us his tattoos, which consisted of every single slayer album cover and logo. He also had some swastika and iron crosses inked on him. That plus the fact he was a skin head, gave me and Michael the assumption that he was probably some sort of Neo-Nazi. Throughout the concert he would just shout SLAYER! at the top of his lungs (even when slayer wasn't playing). From time to time he would have enlightening conversations with us about how the other bands suck and how nobody rages as hard as slayer. We of-course nodded and agreed with everything he said.
The other guy we met was sitting in front of us. He was an older dude, but he was pretty jacked. He would tell us about the old days of metal, and snorting large quantities of coke before seeing bands in dingy NYC clubs. This guy was really pist off that he wasn't down in the pit right in front of the stage. I think at one point our entire row tried getting down into the lower level, but security was not budging. So guy in front of us basically tries to incite a riot so that a large group of us would bum rush the stage and get around the guards (this never happens). He did start a sort of half ass mosh pit on the stairs, which was probably not the best idea now that I look back at it. All and all it was a great time. Testament played an awesome set, and they organized one of the bigger walls of death that I have seen. I also got to hear some classic hits from two of the greatest metal veteran bands of all time. Slayer played incredibly. There is something about the energy of their sound that makes you uncontrollably move your head up and down vertically. I was a bit disappointed that there was no pyrotechnics at this show, but the intense lighting and cool back drops did a decent job of making up for it.

As the show came to an end, we said goodbye to our metal friends and made it back to the car. When we walked out, there was a guy getting thrown out by several security guards. I don't know what he was yelling about, since the show was over and even if he could get back in there would be no point. I got separated from Michael at one point, but we ended up meeting at the spot where we got those sweet keychains. We debated on whether or not to do anything after the show, but as usual we concluded that we should go home. I woke up the next morning with my ear drums pulsing, no voice, my neck so sore from head banging, and a newfound love for old school metal. Here's a half-ass video I put together from that night.

Dumbassia: Slayer & Megadeth from Dumbassia on Vimeo.

the boys