Last Night

So last night, we went to a kegger at Sean's place. I have no idea how this was brought up, but I ended up telling these girls that I could take a punch to the face no problem (as long as someone was filming). Well Bryce immediately rose to the occasion, and gave one of the girls his phone so she could film it. Before things like this happen to me, I smack myself in the face a couple times to psyche myself up. Then I look down and think about something completely irrelevant to the current events. Like "I hope I didn't leave my back door opWHAM!". Its over before you know it even happened. I feel its a good way to get over the anxiety of the anticipating punch, kick, smack or whatever. Bryce gave me a solid crack to the cheek, and hugged me afterwards. The best part about this video is the drunk girl filming, who for some reason is convinced I am from Ireland.Sorry about the lighting.

The Weekend (You Just Got ICED)

So this was weekend okay. It started with a very impromptu decision to go down the shore friday night with Michael and H.C.. So we got Bryce to buy us a couple 30 racks of PBR and Keystone and proceded to head to the jersey shore. It was my understanding that we had a house completely to ourselves for the night, and it was right on the beach. Well plans changed. First, I found out that my dad and my uncle were staying in the house directly next to us. Then it turned out that my younger brother and his two friends were also staying in the same house as us. Fucking A. So we decided to make back some of Michael's money, by selling it to the young ones. Traffic was kinda shitty on the way down. We got to the house around 6:30 p.m. and a little bit later, left to honor our most recent tradition. Find the nearest arcade and play BIG BUCK HUNTER. Michael has yet to get the elephant in the safari edition. So we grabbed some expensive grub (fuck the prices of food on the boardwalk) and decided it was time to start drinking. Now H.C. expressed to us his wishes to not spend the night, because he was attending the Churchhill Cup in morning with his dad. So I attempted to convince him otherwise, while Michael was taking a dump. I cornered H.C. and attempted to steal his keys from him. This did not go as planned. I could not manage to hold him down, and our difference in height and mass did not help serve my cause. I lost. So H.C. left later in the evening to head back north (like a bitch) and Michael and I began to drink. There was no cable or music, so we were left to watch the Hit The Lights documentary for the sixth fucking time. Then my brother and his friends showed up. Now Michael is a "wannabe bro" of sorts, because he is in a fraternity and he plays the roles that life presents to him. So he is now also into the new bronomenon known as "icing". So he made my brother and his friends his targets for the night. So Michael hid Smirnoff Ices throughout the house.

The process went like this:

Victim #1: Patrick C.

Hiding Spot: The rafters above my bed.

Method: "Hey Pat, come check this out" (Michael pointing to the beverage in the rafters).

Victim's Reaction: Pleasantly surprised and accepting of the chug.

Victim #2: Patrick C. (again)

Hiding Spot: The microwave.

Method: Me saying, "Hey Pat, Can you check to see if I have any french fries left in the microwave".

Victim's Reaction: Accepting of the chug, but coming to the realization that this was going to happen to him all night.

Michael created an atmosphere of paranoia at this point, because no one knew how many Ices he had hidden.

Victim #3: Kiernan (My brother)

Hiding Spot: Behind his seat.

Method: Sat on it and realized immediately what it was.

Victim's Reaction: Resistant and immature at first, but submissive in the end. Led to events involving the theft of Michael's backpack.

Victim#4: Patrick C.

Hiding Spot: Kiernan handed it to Patrick while he was sleeping.

Method: The most unoriginal way ever.

Victim's Reaction: Groggy but drunkenly willing to accept the challenge.

The other kid ,Joe, could not drink any of the Ices, because he didn't drink often and could barely handle beer. My dad and uncle walked in a little drunk at one point. And there was this whole thing about Joe's girlfriend having a banana tattoo and my Uncle laughing and saying that he has his own "banana". I don't know. I'm just happy my dad didn't kick my ass when he found our beer. I do not know what happened to the other Ices, but I'm assuming Michael is holding on to them for a later occasion. I spent the rest of the weekend mostly working at the restaurant. I would return to my house and find the boys drinking PBR and having intellectual discussions about topics such as self-sucking and disney porn. Kiernan and Joe shared the same bed one night (their logic behind why was way too dumb to explain). They passed out spooning with each-other with bright colored vampire teeth in their mouths. I honestly don't know. And that was pretty much the weekend. O and I got bad sun burn. Yay.

The Weekend

I spent this weekend mostly working down the shore. Friday night, I got stuck working until 12:30 because one stupid fucking family refused to leave the restaurant. So I ended up staying in a motel that night, because it was pointless to drive back north that late and I also had work the next day. My room wasn't that bad. Two beds, a T.V. (which mysteriously turned itself on and off several times), fridge, bathroom, and ice. So I drank two beers that I brought down with me, and then intended fully to go to sleep right afterwards. It was a long day of work and I just wanted to lay down, and potentially pay a hooker for a full body massage. Well that didn't happen. There was a post-bachelor party going on down the hall, and they were not quiet. I went outside to see if it was worth joining in, but they were much older then me so I determined it to be lame. I was lonely in my room, but not lonely enough to get smashed with a bunch of horny, drunk 40-year olds. Then a bachelorette party from a different wedding party also showed up, and they were more gone then the guys. They were giggling and taking pictures of the other party's groom, who was already passed out. When I walked outside, the bride to be asked me if I had any weed on me. I guess I just have that persona of a person who is holding illegal narcotics. Finally they calmed down around 4a.m., and as I slipped away into a nice slumber a fire horn went off and four fire trucks sped down the street next to the motel. This woke up everyone down the hall, and so they decided to continue partying. I conked out around 5a.m.

I woke up Saturday around noon to house keeping trying to kick me out of my room. I tried explaining to them that I would leave in an hour after showering and getting my shit together. They seemed very frustrated with me, and after 10 minutes of yelling at me left. So with that done, I went back to sleep for another two hours. I eventually went to work, which went by very slowly. Most interesting part of the night was when this weird family wanted to have their pictures taken individually with me. I mean I'm an okay bus boy, but not photograph worthy. The photos are probably going to end up on some creepy porn site or blog. Anyway my friend was throwing a kegger up north, so I was trying to get out of work as early as possible. Managed to leave around 10:30, and drove up from the shore straight to the party. There was a good crowd of people. Most of them were a couple years older then me. My friend Mike was pouring shots and making some extremely strong mixed blue drinks, which pretty much did me in for the evening. That and the combination of keg stands and beer pong created a series of blackouts throughout the evening. I wish I took some pictures so that I could remember some parts. I faintly remember some 29 year old chick explaining to me that I was missing out because I would never let a girl finger my asshole. Thank god nothing crazy occurred after that conversation. There was also this really slutty chick there who I feel was hooking up with everyone at the party, and unless I'm misremembering I think her boyfriend was there too. He did not seem really to care at all when people were pouring water all over her white shirt which exposed her matching playboy bra and thong. Adam puked and passed out on the bathroom floor for a bit. When I asked him why he wouldn't get up, he responded with, "I need the cold tile floor to cool me down". He then attempted to make himself vomit, while I pissed in the shower.Overall it was a good night.

I woke up still pretty drunk around 11a.m. When trying to gather all my stuff together. I found my left sock in a cigarette astray. Probably was not sober enough to drive home but o well. As soon as I walked into my room, I passed out until 4:30. I was really surprised my parents did not wake me up to do anything. I went to church at 7p.m., because I'm a good catholic boy and I figured that maybe God could help cure this fucking awful hangover (which I still have as I'm writing this). Then H.C., Cunningham, and myself went to the movies to see the film "Splice".

All I can say is "What The Fuck". I mean I don't know if I'm disappointed or impressed. I am just so wierded out by the whole experience that I cannot form an actual opinion about this movie. (Spoiler Alert) There is actual graphic scenes of inter-species, erotic, incestuous, creepy-ass, gender changing fucking.........and rape in this movie. So I really don't know what to say about this film, I just know the disco fries I ate afterwards were delicious.

An old preview that H.C. put together back in high school. This was probably the first real thing that Dumbassia accomplished.

Promo #2

A combination of old footage and new footage. Mikey V received many beatings this last weekend and I feel like that should be acknowledged. I'm not saying that he did not deserve them, but he provided great footage. Enjoy.

Boredom

Being bored sucks. Plain and simple. Especially when you know that you could be doing something that you'd enjoy, but for some reason your stuck either doing nothing or doing the same thing that has lost any form of enjoyment. Personally, I have been very bored lately. Usually its during the day when no one wants to do anything because they're sleeping or they have work. So I mope about, trying to be productive, but just end up gaining empty satisfaction from a new viral video or porn. Well no more I say. I'm making it my short term goal to never be bored again. Let's get out there world and meet new people, and do new things and whatnot. Lets wake up in the morning and have not so much an agenda but the basic idea that we are going to do something today. Whatever the first idea that pops into your head, do it! No matter how stupid it is. Because you know what. Stupid ideas turn into great stories, and thats all you have when your old and decrepit. Remember this, and go fuck boredom in the buttocks. Your-welcome.

(If suicide or murder are the first things that pop into your head in the morning, I do not advise those actions)