So before I start this post, let me just state that I love
my mother very much and she has always been there to support me in "most" of my
endeavors. That being said, she has some qualities that are less than perfect.
See my mother is a special kind of person that the marketing world refers to as a “variety shopper”. This means that if she sees anything that is on sale and has some sort
of use for it, she will buy it. For many, this is a great way of saving money and I’m
not putting down people who seek out bargains. I’ll give you an example of what
I’m trying to describe and why this can be pretty fucked up/ funny. The other
day, my mom made a very unique purchase for me. Now, I usually don’t get many
random gifts from my mother, but when I do they are always in good taste and
fun. The gift below was not in good taste at least.
That
is supposed to be a sled…yes… a sled. My mother presented it to me the night
prior to my departure back to school. In reality it was a very thoughtful gift,
considering my university is in an environment equivalent to the arctic tundra
and people do often do things involving sleds. So, I guess it's the
thought that counts. The only thing that I find funny, yet unnerving, is the
suggestive shape of this children’s play toy. I mean seriously. It looks like a
dick. The way it works is even weirder. You the sled rider, place your buttocks
in a plastic-testicle-shaped seat pad. Then you grab the head (frightening
shaped steering mechanism) and pull the shaft between your legs. I don’t even
believe that this thing can even work unless you were descending the steepest hill
in history.
(snow seat in action)
So when my mother asked, “how I
liked it?”, I smiled and said thank you. I didn’t want to make her feel
bad about buying me something. She also would have probably been very offended
by my suggestion of anything phallic about a children’s toy, even though it
seriously looks like a dick. She then explained that she saw that it was on
sale for eight dollars and that she knew I would have a good time using it (The
negatives of bargain shopping exposed). I told her that I would definitely use
it when I got back to school, and then quickly grabbed the dick sled as I went
to my room. As I walked, I began to think about this unusual gesture. I’m inclined to
believe that my mother made an innocent purchase with the full intention of me
having a great outdoor recreational experience. For if not, my mom is a
maniacal comedic genius that realized I would be too nice to point out her poor
shopping decision and wishes for me to have a homoerotic moment of
embarrassment as I travel at high speed down the steepest hill of ice
imaginable! Either way, it’s funny and/or adorable. It also provided me with a
good post. Thanks mom.
Definitely gonna make a video of the snow seat in action.
